It is normal

You know that moment you get when your alone and your mind starts to THINK a bit TOO much? When it starts to ASK toooo many questions. Having many of them lately. So unnerving.

It's not negative. It's just annoying. Maybe it's an interruption of reality forced upon my ideals but still.. I wish it would stop.
Aren't we all deserving of a little Dream life- even if it's only in our heads?

Questions. About life, love, existence. What torture it is to be unable to reach into a book or journal and get the answers immediately about these things. Noone has the answers. It's why we chase our dreams. We don't know where they will Lead us because simply put- we don't even know where we ARE actually. What is existence. Is it real. If reality is touchable and rationally analysed - then what is care love hate and all that? Not real?

Strange fleeting moments where I sit back and just ask myself- what on earth are you doing Sarimah? Where are you going? With all your worldly plans and things... What is it you seek. Yes it's the truth.. The truth about me. Who am I.

I guess it's better to live a life asking and finding rather than denying. And hiding. But it's quite irritating!:-)

Anyhow... Rest assured the moments shall and do pass. And the answers... They remain far away, possibly just in front of me- in a place I just cannot see.... Yet.:-)

Xxx

THE REALITIES of makeup!

This is not me... But When I saw this picture it made me sad. Sad to see that women spend so much time and money on.. Not being themselves. Yeah I know we all do it to an extent. But seriously.. Spending hours everyday to look like another person...? How do you (literally) face yourself eventually...

It has been three weeks! MPH signed me..!

It's been three weeks am Hosting the breakfast show on RED FM now. :-) am loving the fact that radio can be soo close to my fans and listeners and that we can immediately interact!

I'm loving getting up at 5! Strangely- it allows me to workout and keep up with my yoga..:-)

I'm a Reebok ambassador and I'm trying to help them put together a few events to raise money for charities by getting fit.. Will update on that soon...:-)

My book has changed in its form.. The draft is almost done.. MPH have signed me on... And I've signed them on hehehe... So I'm officially writing a book to be published!!! It's exciting.

Sorry I don't update everyday.. I'll try to be more frequent.
I just had a lovely breakfast after my show this morning... The topic today was Sad movies... I've seen too many to mention.. I still recall Legends of the Fall and The time travellers Wife as pretty sad. Inception made me cry too.

I'm gonna head out now.. The sun is shining and it's still
Early in the day! Much love..:-) xxx

A flashback to the past.

This cover is one of my most proudest moments as a Malaysian and entertainer.:-)

The interview managed to capture ME as Me.:-)

Pain

When life beats you up- just stand up and fight some more.. But don't take it personally.:-) happens to us all. Xx

fashion rarely impresses me.

i wear whats comfy. what hides a bloated tummy from too many yummy bowls of rice and toast slices.

i do love lace though. it makes me itchy but i love it. and collars.
and black.

blacks my favourite colour. cause its stark. its simple and it doesnt need anything to match it. :-)
kinda like how i feel most of the time.:-)

friggin TYPOS in life!

dayam ive realised my silly auto correct has messed up my typing. ah well. u get the gist of this blog i hope.:-) somewhat like me- it can be rushed hurried n imperfect... but.. always as blunt n honest as can be! .:-) xxxxxxx

men in my life.

one of my lovely brothers. i have three of them!! joy.
i do need men in my life. like these.:-)

i hope my brothers continue to grow up and stay dignified respectful men.

God knows the world could do with more of them.:-)

xxx

older and .. a little wiser. i hope.

my bday cake...!:-)

Snippet from my upcoming book...

Sure- LOVE has its moments. Just like eating your Favourite food. A delicious crime brûlée or bowl of whipped cream can be oh-so comforting...but try eating it NON STOP for days..weeks..months or even years.... Some part of that dish WILL start to taste unpleasant ... Could start to end up disgusting you even...even though it started out as your Favourite....even though You wouldn't mind trying to eat it again...(after some time of separation that is:-)

so many new starts.:-)

well. the first week of me radio announcing has ended. its been great. i hate waking up early but i love entertaining so the payoff is so much greater.:-)

my body HURT the first day and second- from waking so early.. waking when everyone is asleep is weird... but by day 5... i woke up naturally.:-)

i like having a long day now. i used to sleep when everyone woke up. when i was shooting films and dramas and emceeing even ...sometimes id get home by 2 am...so now... watching the SUN come up... is really something new.
i feel like im in school again. !!

i come home... eat lunch at 12 and gym and run all my errands. ive got time to do all i wanted to do.

its my birthday tomorrow. another year. i have changed so much i sometimes wonder if im still me. the entertainer me is the same.. but the personal me... is different.

im calmer.. more honest... and more... relaxed... since 2009. i feel happier... now.

i never realised it but i used to live in the future in my head- til 2009. i never enjoyed the present. i would just think... whats next- every minute of everyday.
ehen everything collapsed in mu workd in 2009... i realized i had to start frm scratch.. in the present. everyday was a start. every moment i appreciate.every food every jog every hug. it all matters now.

some parts have me have not changed like really gtg annoyed with disloyal ppl.. or feeling very angry when 'friends' turn out to just want something and not really care about me after all.. or at least not even have the decency to ask. but overall... im happy, i am thankful i am
healthy and alive.God has been kind.

im a year older trow.. but im a century happier. thank God- Alhamdulillah for that.:-)

xxxxxx

video of the launch:-)

http://thestaronline.tv/View.aspx?vid=7968&cid=1

The Star...s

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/2/11/nation/10718604&sec=nation

candybars are not chocolate.

if 'Sugar' comes first in the ingrediants- it aint a chocolate bar. dont be fooled!

everyones got a public Face.:-)

the sweetest things in life are not free.

a few things....about now.

something old something new...does it matter. the seconds tick away with the hope of becoming that ideal self and having an ideal life.. with ideal friends and loved ones..

when we realise that we actually live in a present that is real and matters and its not the Ideas in our heads that are true- thats when we can truly live.
to be truly living - and not jut surviving.

i ran 5km today. on a treadmill. i had a banana shake with oats before that. it was yummy...

i scrubbed my body with a scrub made of lavender oils. delicious....

i did all this but my mind was somewhere... in a world of ideals still.

ideals in the future that are so real and inviting that you no longer want the present real reality...

it takes alot of dicipline to live in the now- instead of in that make believe world of great colleagues, fabulous loyal friends and unconditionally sacrificing partners.

i am
writing my first book. its a semi autobiography. i have changed the feel and layout and content - often- cause i change everyday. and i have decided loooong agoo if you truly want something done - best do it yourself.


i write about mental health. existence. how we cope with dissapointments.
some people have let me down lately...
but a person who grudges forever lives in a dream. in a nightmare. so its best to wake up and wish the best for those who hurt us.

more importantly...be proud of yourself that is flawed. then you will learn how to become your best. falsely think you are someone you are not- and suffer the wrath of a life constantly needing to run from yourself and those who are kind to you... believing deep inside that you need to punish and condemn and threaten people.. so they keep far away from you.. and only you lose.
its self sabotage..the worst kind of sabotage.

Try to embrace your regrets- know
that regret true purpose is to teach you how to do better next time..

never regret what you regret.

:-) xxxxx

pray.

Salam Maulidur Rasul.

lets think about what and who matters in life- not our careers, not
money and certainly not
status.

think about thise you love so much that if you were to leave this planet only They would cross your mind and heart.

keep those you love close- and those who love you- closest... because..

being loved is precious and noone is perfect- be grateful you are loved for all your greatness.. and many flaws..

i have learnt that without stopping and appreciating that I am
not perfect- but am
still loved- that i can forgive and love others too...:-)

besides... not forgiving only brings YOU pain... he or she wont suffer more ...

i Thank God for another day.. another night.. and for People who even care for me with my imperfections...

lige is never easy or smooth for long periods of time.. but neither are the problems, tears and Pot holes of the heart we encounter.

we can get through anything.. when we have Faith in a better .. next moment..
next day..next week..next month... in the next......time.:-)

xxxxxx

workouts

After exercising so much yesterday.. running, yoga and light weights- i think its best i rest today. muscles ar sore and im realising that too much of anything is bad- ouch!

traffic jams.

i think its ridiculous that anyone shd have a police escort through traffic. if politicians dont suffer like the people- they will never feel a need to change things or improve our country.

secrets.

did a shoot today with someone ill be working with.:-)

new starts...:-)

feb 13... a new start... ;-)

just started all this Sharing business

well. im officially here. Blogging. its happened.
because im new to blogging.. please allow me some time to get into the swing of things. you know me- once i start- i rarely can stop. lol.

ill post once or twice a day here to start off with...:-)

banyak nak cerita.. banyak nak share with you all.

to begin:

if you have a question for me- silakan.:-)

im all ears..eh i mean im
all fingers here on...;-)

S xx

three years from Darkness.. into the light.

when you love- remember- dont lose you.
love is not a solid thing. its changing and may not fit your ideal idea.

dont be in love with love- its not real. its a feeling that is never definable and thats whats scariest.

a papaya coloured bag.

To start the year.. the vibe.. colourful.. compact and just.. happy.:-)