Monday, March 5, 2012

Everyone is everyone elses perfect imperfect

Over the weekend I learned that sometimes in life you just can't get what you expect, hope for or so badly want.
Sometimes we have to adapt our expectations with people and life. It seems these last three years have shown me that i was living in
a safe bubble Of ignorant bliss on many things for the last decade.
And damn was it bliss. What a loud pop when my bubble burst. I don't like it. But I'm learning to accept it. Wow- life's got disappointments. Perhaps I'm finally truly living. Perhaps.

Thing is- its really easy to have expectations and hope for others and get irate and disappointed when they don't deliver- but what about their expectations of us? That there seems to be THE fundamental problem with us all.
We hardly tell each other every minute of everyday what it is exactly we are happy to accept- or not.We can't do that.
So We kinda expect others to read us if they care enough, love us enough and know us enough. Anything less and - perhaps they're just not right for us.....?

It's a bit unfair I suppose to expect something without asking for it. And then there's the question of what if both parties are dissappointing each other simultaneously. That's usually the recipe for an unpleasant argument. We all get so stuck in our own minds and beliefs and- once again- our hopes for the ideal outcome- that anything less is seen simply as another persons failure of some sort to us.

Then there's the question of settling. How does anyone really know that there isnt someone better or a better friend etc out there in such a massively populated planet. I mean- we can't possibly meet every single human and date them and select the best. We havent the time.
So we go based on what we perceive as the best. We tell ourselves that it's fate or meant to be or Gods decision for us. Really? Is it?.

I would have stayed with the same person forever if things hadn't taken a massive turn in my life. I would never have done or met anyone else that I have in the last three years of my life if I hadn't moved from my marriage.It was terrifying. But I did it.

So is it not our decision and nothing more than choice? Then are we all settling when we find someone that's- conveniently perfect compared to the rest we've compared them to before? Does this explain why people fall
Out of love and find others even after marriage-? Cause were all just settling til the next best thing arrives in our lives by fate or chance?

So say it's choice then. Say you just get up one day and go in a trip around the whole world. Test your love and friendships. And if you still choose the same people after all that travelling meeting and trying- then I guess wouldn't THAT really be THE person for you.
And Until we do this- are we just accepting for ourselves something thats just-convenient? Cause we are too scared, too lazy or too complacent to get out there and move, risk it all to find out if it REALLY is fate or serendipity or just habit and convenience...

Again- the answer eludes me like so
Many questions on life and love that we all have. It's a real dilemma isn't it- so who's brave enough to go out and get the truth? I don't know if I am.



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